A lot of people I have talked to online and off have suggested I make a gofundme to help kickstart my long journey to transitioning. Honestly I was reluctant to make a gofundme because I feared I would appear greedy, or that this was all an act to get money, it really isn’t.
since a couple of you asked for my social media:
add me on steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/iamcthulhubowbeforeme/
the Trevor project-
suicide hotline for gay and lesbian youth and those questioning
text TREVOR to 1-202-304-1200
free helpline for trans people staffed by trans people
Gay and lesbian national hotline
nationwide hotline for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. completely confidential.
GLBT national youth talkline
peer-counseling, factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the US.
The Beaumont society
national 24hr information line for the trans community
The Beaumont trust
helpline for transgender, transvestites and their partners
London gay and lesbian switchboard
provides confidential, non-judgmental support
LGBT helpline Scotland
provides information and emotional support for LGBT and their families, friends and supporters across Scotland
Lesbian gay bi trans youthline
support and information for youth provided by youth
helpline for trans people staffed bby trans people
counseling and referral service for LGBT
hotline for gays and lesbians in Belguim
Listening and information hotline for LGBT individuals, their family and friends
Dublin Lesbian line
lesbian helpline in Dublin
For those of you wondering, here’s the poem I wrote and used in the video, I made a few slight changes when reciting it because I was going by memory not reading it, so here it is:
When I was five
All my Barbies were married to girls.
I wanted to grow up
To be just like Barbie.
I wanted a beautiful wife
To come home to
And be with for the rest of my life.
When I was five
I knew I was attracted to girls,
I knew i wasn’t normal.
When I was eight,
I sat on the sidelines
Watching the boys play soccer,
Begging to be asked to join.
I wanted to be like them.
Tomboy, they had called me,
But I wanted to be more than that.
When I was twelve
I asked for top surgery,
I asked to remove my boobs.
You made me feel like a freak,
‘You’re not a boy’ you would say,
‘You would have been born a boy if God wanted you that way’
When I was sixteen
I avoided every mirror,
The girl that stared back at me,
I knew I wasn’t her.
I hated what I saw,
I hated my body,
It made me so uncomfortable,
It made me sick
And I knew I wanted to change it.
And now, at nineteen
I have something I want to say.
This body of mine,
I want it to go away.
I need you to listen,
You won’t like the truth,
This I know,
I want to be your son.
Amanda is what you call me,
Amanda is who you know,
But that isn’t who I am.
Can I be known
As your son,
This has been Riley L. Onyx (aw-nyx)